Don’t forget that the instructions ask you to discuss and give your opinion. Where is your opinion? You have only done half of what is asked. You must not ignore the instructions. Your opinion must go in the introduction, the body and conclusion.
Also, I wouldn’t recommend using the “Holocaust” as an example of why people shouldn’t study history. It’s a very poor example. The Holocaust is a reason why people should learn history. I rarely comment on the type of examples given but I think you need to plan more carefully.
Also try to present equally well developed ideas which means keep your paragraphs more balanced.
All the best